


The Hope To Your Despair

by abandoningship



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, sad but with a bittersweet ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 15:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abandoningship/pseuds/abandoningship
Summary: Whenever Hermione looks at him, that stupid poem she read long ago comes back to her.I will be that little light that gets inTo your cracked and dejected soul.Or better yet, I will be yours forever.If you just let me be.- cynthia go // if you let me be





	The Hope To Your Despair

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a whim after finishing finals. Hope you enjoy it as much as I hated myself for writing this.
> 
> *also, it was very quickly proofread*

 

How could anyone fight in a war and then pretend like it never happened? That’s what they all did, didn’t they? Harry almost died too many times to count. The peril he was put in as an 11 year old was never justified. Yet, he sits at a kitchen table with his wife and children putting jam on bread like his happy future was always guaranteed. Ginny pretends she was never possessed and left to die in an underground chamber no one knew how to get to every time her face ends up in a paper for something her or Harry did. Ron still pretends the kiss in said chamber meant more than just a desperate ‘I need one more before I die’ kiss. He pretends he’s okay with every no Hermione gives him every time he annoyingly and unnecessarily proposes to her. Hermione is tired of pretending everything is okay, because nothing is truly okay.

Sometimes she wonders if she should be the one ostracized and outcasted in Hogsmeade instead of every former Slytherin forced to fight in a cause they didn’t believe in. She was a rebel, wasn’t she? She set a teacher on fire. She brewed an illegal potion at the age of 12. She was able to use an illegal time altering device as a minor that most, if not all, ministry employees were not allowed to use. She kept a person alive in a jar for a year at age 14. She obliviated her parents’ memories, knowing she’d never get them back, to keep them safe. She wonders why she is deemed crazy for going to therapy with said former Slytherins. Fighting in a war, winning side or not, takes a toll on one’s mental health and Hermione is tired of feeling crazy for not wanting to pretend everything is okay. She doesn’t want to get married and repopulate the Wizarding world so soon when she can’t even look at her former school without vomiting. Even though they’re no longer there, she can still see the blood stains that line every wall and every floor. She thinks she can name who’s blood is where too. 

Maybe she’s not crazy for all of that. But, she’s definitely crazy for thinking the broken, blonde wizard sitting across from her in therapy has some good intentions. His usually pale skin is so white you could mistake him for a ghost. The only thing stopping you from doing just that is the dark, baggy skin around his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept since first year, even with a sleeping draught. His once silky, thick, platinum blond hair now sits on top of his head like yarn. It’s longer than before, and he almost looks like his father. Almost. His hair shows normal-blonde streaks now and she’s not used to seeing him without that platinum blond mess on his head. She wonders if it’s stress and fear that have changed his hair color. He’s only skin and bones. Most of them are. Most of them haven’t found the appetite to eat. Some of them still picture their friends guts spilling out in front of them every time they go to eat pasta. It’s the middle of August but he’s wearing a black jumper, and she knows exactly why. The mark on his arm, the one she mistakes as a muggle tattoo sometimes, it’s fading away but still definitely there. It’s power was lost the second Voldemort turned into ash. Or maybe his body dropped to the ground. She can’t really remember the actual battle anymore. 

Hermione shifted uncomfortably as their group therapy leader continued to mumble on, something about unity and forgiveness. She didn’t want to hear it. She understood most Slytherins were forced to fight for the wrong side. She watched most of them turn against their family in battle, happy that they could finally stand up to their pretentious and old-fashioned parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Deep down, she knows the unity speech is meant to warn the former Slytherins that it’ll take time to be forgiven. She was the only young hero to forgive them all. Maybe it was because they all looked awful. Her brain relished in that fact, found some sort of comfort in it. She wasn’t the only one to be truly ruined by the war. She isn’t the weakest. She sees that every time she looks at him.

The therapist stands up to thank them all for coming and Hermione feels her stomach sink. It’s another therapy session she has ignored in order to study - no, stare - at the blonde wizard across from her. He stares back, both of them lost in their own minds. The room suddenly gets colder, and she stands, her hands immediately grabbing her arms and rubbing to create some heat from friction. He raises with her, mimicking her every movement unintentionally. They both head for the door at the same time. They’re the last ones out, even their therapist left the empty room. They both turn to look at each other before leaving. He gives her a soft smile, he’s honestly trying to be nice, and she returns one. His right hand finds the back of his neck and he rubs aimlessly. He wants to ask her something but doesn’t know how. Her right hand softly grasps his left tricep. 

“Do you want to walk home together?” 

He laughs, and her heart swells at seeing him happy. It’s not a real happy, but his laugh is sort of genuine and she gets to see him smile so she counts it as a win. He nods, and she smiled back. The question was meaningless, they live in the same apartment complex, so they walk everywhere together. The complex was built to house the victims of the war who lost everything. That just so happens to be most former Slytherins. Most of their parents are gone, and they own all of the family estates, but the Ministry decided every former death eater’s mansion had to be demolished. So, every former Slytherin bought an apartment complex to live in together while they build themselves a new home. They bought it so anyone in need can live there. Hermione is the only war hero that lives there, other than their former professors. She truly does not have a home to go to. The Burrow never felt like home to her. In London, it was just her, her parents, and Crookshanks. The dozen of bodies in The Burrow make Hermione feel small and trapped. She never feels claustrophobic except when at the Burrow. Grimmauld place was never home, no matter how hard she tried to pretend it was the first three months after the war when Harry tried to house her. So, the apartment complex soon became home. Professor McGonagall acted as a landlord to keep everyone in order. She was the only other hero to forgive the Slytherins. All of the residents were both Hogwarts and battle alumni broken beyond belief, in need of a motherly figure. Minerva became their surrogate mother, Hermione being her favorite. 

The walk home from the therapist’s office was not far. It was maybe three blocks from the complex, and Hermione and Draco walked in silence. Draco’s hands were settled into his pockets and Hermione snaked her arm through the space between Draco’s body and arm. She fell in step with him as he gently moved closer to her. Her head found its way to resting on his shoulder. The embrace was warm and comforting but at the same time oh so very wrong. She knew Draco was still outcasted as an evil human being. Yet, his “evil” embrace was the only thing that comforted her. His broken existence allowed her to be herself. She didn’t have to pretend to be perfect all the time, unlike when she was with Harry, Ron, and Ginny. 

The apartment complex was dark and gloomy. There were seven floors and twelve rooms on each floor. Each room housed up to three people. Draco lived with Blaise and Theo next door to Hermione, Pansy, and Daphne. Draco has just passed through the entrance of the complex when he heard rustling come from the office to his left. He froze in the doorway, Hermione stuck outside behind him. Hermione could faintly see McGonagall approach Draco from behind him. She heard the familiar, calming voice quietly address both of them. 

“Good evening Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger. Miss Granger, can I see you in my office?” 

McGonagall moved to the side to allow Draco to enter the building fully while pointing to her small office to their left. The blonde walked in cautiously, portraying a protective stance around Hermione. Hermione had her eyes glued on her former professor. 

“No problem, Professor.” 

Hermione walked into the office and Draco tried to follow close behind. McGonagall stood between Draco and the room. 

“Alone, Mister Malfoy.”

And with that, McGonagall shut the door, leaving Draco in the hallway alone. Draco slowly peeled away, walking unbearably slow to his apartment. Hermione watched McGonagall turn hesitantly towards her. The former professor motioned towards the seat in front of her desk. Hermione sat almost instantly. The elderly professor fiddled with her robe briefly before sitting behind the desk, all while looking at Hermione with pleading eyes. 

“Miss Granger, there is no easy way to say what I wish to discuss. Forgive me if I am blunt.” 

Hermione quietly nodded. McGonagall took this as a sign to continue.

“Miss Granger... I know there are little mentors in your life currently because of your... unfortunate predicament.” 

Hermione stilled. She knew Professor McGonagall was referencing her parents, which means the thing Professor McGonagall wants to say will sound motherly. 

“I do not wish to assume a role I am sure you do not want me in, but forgive me because I cannot sit idly by. Miss Granger, your... relationship with Mister Malfoy concerns me.” 

Hermione opened her mouth to argue. It was the one thing she was good at. McGonagall beat her to it.

“Before you counter, Mister Malfoy is not what I am concerned about. I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. I trust him fully, you know that. It is the rest of the world I cannot trust. Miss Granger, the world is not as forgiving as you are. The world wants a scapegoat, and Mister Malfoy unfortunately falls into that category. People will not be kind to you because of your association to him, and I worry about your safety.” 

Hermione watched as McGonagall stood and worriedly shuffled around the room. The former professor muddle with paperwork and other contents on her neat and organized desk. The shelves that lined the walls of the room became another target the professor became amused with. She would manually rearrange things on the shelves, avoiding eye contact with Hermione. The young witch stood from her seat. 

“Professor, I do appreciate your concern. But, I did just survive a war. I am capable of handling myself and anything that it thrown at me. I appreciate your kind words about Draco and I, but I wish to not discuss this further.” 

McGonagall stared at Hermione with disappointed eyes. The young witch ignored the look as she left the room. The former professor stared at the door closing behind Hermione, worried she just lost the one thing she was proud of. 

.

Hermione briskly walked down to the end of the hallway. The last two doors on either side of her mocked her. To her left, a door with three green apples cut out of construction paper stared back at her. Each apple graced a name: Draco, Blaise, and Theo to be exact. To her right, three strawberries mocked her. Hermione, Pansy, and Daphne were the names that mocked her. Hermione felt as if she was in one of those movies that portrayed American Universities. She felt like one of the first year college students who had an RA plaster fake positivity everywhere. But instead of university, Hermione is in a safe house and instead of an RA she has a former professor as a landlord. Hermione turned towards the door with her name on it before quickly shifting on her heels and knocking on the door with the apples. Draco answered the door immediately and pulled the Gryffindor inside. Theo and Blaise were no where to be found. Hermione turned towards the blonde to question him, but Draco beat her to it.

“The construction to our new manors was completed today. Blaise and Theo have already moved into their new homes.” 

Hermione nodded as she noticed all of Draco’s stuff was missing too. She met Draco’s eyes. Admiration stared back at her. 

“Are you moving too?” 

Draco nodded. Hermione felt too many emotions at once. She felt envious that Draco had a new home to go home too. She felt upset that he would be leaving. She felt regret that she didn’t admit her feelings sooner. She could tell she was worrying Draco because she felt his hands lightly grasp her shoulders. She met his eye contact. 

“I want you to move in with me. I know that’s a huge jump, but the manor is big enough for us to have our own separate wings. I want to share my new Manor with you, Hermione. I am forever in debt to you and I want to show you I will spend forever making it up to you. I’ll even name the manor whatever you want. We can name it after your parents.” 

Hermione didn’t hear the rest. She cut the blonde off by kissing him. She was hoping the kiss expressed her answer. 

.

 

Professor McGonagall sat quietly as she shifted through the paperwork in her office. Even though the building is completely paid for, there was still some paperwork to be finished with the ministry. The building would soon belong to Hogwarts (once it open again) to house orphan students during mandatory school breaks during the year. No student will have to go through what Harry has gone through ever again. McGonagall had just finished signing the middle pack of the papers when she watched a paper fly into the room. It landed in front of her peacefully. It was a resignation of stay form.

**_The following residents have respectfully moved out following completion of housing renovations:_ **

**_H. Granger_**  
**_D. Malfoy_**  
**_T. Nott  
_** **_B. Zabini_**

The tired professor shook her head. As she filed the document away, Minerva noticed a paper airplane fly into the room. It landed on her desk quietly and unfolded almost immediately. Minerva approached the paper cautiously and read the note nervously. It was in handwriting she used to be so happy to read.

_Mother you don’t understand;_  
_I made Hades run to me._  
_He saw my bones beneath_  
_And offered me half his kingdom._  
_Do you really think I ate the fruit unwillingly?_

_-unknown_

_Thank you for everything._

_\- H. G._

 

Minerva shook her head with tears in her eyes. She felt as if she lost everything in that moment, even though she knew it wouldn’t abandon her.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is very much appreciated


End file.
